I just needed a place to vent and what better place than my blog. That's what it's here for right? So lately, I have been super blah. My job has got me really down because my boss is a total douche bag and everyone knows it and hates him except for the people that need to know to fire him. I wish they would know what he does and how he acts. He would be gone so fast if they knew. I'm not doing anything in this job that I was told I would be doing and it's not even something I want to be doing. I'm in the right place doing the wrong things. I sit in the production studio and yet, I don't do any production. Talk about dangling the goods in my face. I have been applying for new gigs, but as we all know there's nothing out there and the things that are out there are kind of blah. I'm at the age where I need to find something to stick with longer than a year or 2. I need to find a career and not just a place until the next place comes along. I do have to say that I'm lucky to be here though. This I know and have always known. It doesn't stop me from complaining about it, but trust that I know how lucky I am. My other company was pretty much going under and this gig popped into my lap. If that's not luck, what is? This job came at the perfect time. So it's not what I want to do, but it's an income that the majority of my fellow Californians lack. I make a small amount, but it's better than $0. So I guess I complain because I can....
I would like to think that once my job situation gets figured out, everything will be good again. I am so happy outside of work, but I spend more time at work than anywhere else. We all do. We see the people at work more than our own family. I hate the people and the work. It's time to move on, but where to? I guess only time will tell. I just have to keep applying and hope that my luck is still viable and will help me find something I love. They say the least you expect it, the more you're likely to get it. Magic cookie I would like a Monday through Friday gig that doesn't keep me working overtime or on weekends unless completely necessary that pays me pretty well and gives me decent benefits. I would be ok with that. I'm sure I speak for all of us with that wish. I can almost guarantee that if my boss wasn't my boss, I would be ok with working here. I get the great benefits and when I leave my office I never really need to check my email unless an event is going on. I never need to be at events or running anything during them, I just need to make sure it's smooth when it starts and then my work is done. That's kind of the dream job. Unfortunately, I'm bored and no one cares about what I'm trying to do here and I blame my boss for that. He tells people he doesn't care. No one will ever care with an attitude like that. Fingers crossed for change.
On top of the work thing, my grandpa has been in the hospital on and off of his death bed for a few weeks now. Basically, he took too many meds at once causing his stomach to bleed and now he has an incredibly contagious infection. I saw him for the first time yesterday and I had to wear a nurse's gown and gloves. I had to stand at a distance from him too. He's that contagious. I could also blame my intestinal issues on him. I got the bad genes with that for sure. I am having major issues with how this all went down as well. My grandpa did this to himself. He's the one that took too many meds at once. He wouldn't drink water or do what we told him to do and now he's incredibly sick and could die at any time if the infection isn't under control. The worst part; my grandma isn't completely there anymore and she just thinks he's been at the market this entire time. They both need assisted living, but my grandpa is so freaking stubborn that he won't go. He also keeps pulling his IV's out because he wants to go home. Well guess what, you can't. You will make your wife sick if you do. You will also kill yourself because there will be no one to force you to do anything the way the nurse's at the hospital do. He was complaining of a horrible headache and when the nurse brought him some Tylenol, he wouldn't take it. It makes me wonder if he understands the severity of what he's done to himself. Maybe, maybe not. It's just frustrating. I have no desire to visit him because I just don't care. I was never close with him. He calls my house at midnight wondering why no one is there visiting him. He's so stubborn and self centered.
I went on vacation recently and that was great. It was great to get away and not think about work. It was just great, but the second I was on that plane ride back, it all came flooding back. Sometimes, I wish the Mayan calendar was in fact a calendar and not a mathematical equation and the world would end so I wouldn't have to worry about the future, but then I realize how happy the rest of me is and that's just an excuse to be lazy. One day it will turn around. This I know. Nothing lasts forever. I do have my positive spurts here and there. I just wish they were more often.
