Gone Missing Part 2

Cassie is in utter shock. She opens her mouth to speak, but she’s suddenly lost the ability. Mom and dad said my twin sister died not too long after we were born. I don’t understand who’s sitting in front of me right now. Melanie just sits and stares at Cassie. Cassie finally gets the courage to speak. Who are you? My parents told me you were dead? Are you Melanie? I didn’t even know I had a twin sister until I received a letter yesterday. Melanie confirms her identity to Cassie. My name is Melanie, yes. Paul and Susan are my birth parents, but for some reason they chose to keep me locked away all these years. They never told you about me and then yesterday they told you I had died. I haven’t been dead, Cassie. I’m not just a figment of your imagination. This is real and I’m sitting right here in front of you. Cassie just stares now. Why did they choose to keep you locked away? What does that mean? Melanie explains to Cassie that Paul and Susan had only wanted one child, but ended up with 2. Instead of embracing both children and loving them both equally, they chose to love the first born and cast away the second child.

Melanie had been locked away in an orphanage, but Paul and Susan told them never to find parents for her. They wanted her to sit in the orphanage until she was 18 and then to let her go out on her own. Melanie goes on to explain that Paul and Susan would visit her once every year on her birthday and give her a new doll to play with, but they never spoke. One night Melanie got the courage to ask one of the caregivers why she was in an orphanage if she had parents. She grew to learn that only children without parents were kept in orphanages. Children seeking new parents were her friends and she didn’t understand why she was one of them. The caregiver would never tell her why until one night right before Melanie’s 18th birthday. The caregiver sat her down and told her what had become of her and why her parents left her alone.

The caregiver told her she had a twin sister named Cassie and that her parents only wanted one child and chose to give her away. Melanie told her she wanted to find Cassie so the caregiver steered her in the right direction, but Paul and Susan had given a false address and Melanie was left looking on her own. Melanie has been looking for Cassie ever since.

How can that be? My parents are the nicest parents. All of my friends love them. I can’t imagine that they would have a second child and lie about it or give them up. They’ve embraced all of my friends like they were their own children, so why give up a child that was actually theirs? We need to get to the bottom of this, Melanie. There’s something more we aren’t being told. I always wanted a sibling, but they always told me that mom couldn’t give me a sibling. Melanie, come back to their house with me so we can get this figured out once and for all.

No, they abandoned me. I don’t want to have anything to do with them. I wanted to tell you I was alive because I’ve always felt connected to you. Even before my caregiver told me you existed, I felt like I belonged to someone somewhere. It was you, Cassie. We belong together. We’re twins and they tore us apart. I can’t go back there.

But don’t you want to know why they did this? They never would have left one of their children behind like this. I know it. Whether they only wanted one child or two, they never would have just left you somewhere alone. The fact that they visited you once a year has to mean something more, right? If they didn’t want you, they would never have come to visit. There has to be something more to this story. There has to be something the caregiver wasn’t telling you.

Cassie talks Melanie into coming back to her apartment so they can talk some more. Cassie shows Melanie pictures of her parents and tells stories of how nice they have been to her. She shows her all the dolls they used to buy her for her birthday. Every year a new doll. Wait. Those are the same dolls Paul and Susan used to leave me when I was in the orphanage. I have those exact same dolls.

Escape

I'm done with this! I want to do something I'm proud of doing. I want to do something I'm passionate about. Right now I'm just going through the motions and hoping something new comes along and takes me away from here. I have all this passion bubbling inside of me right now and all I can do is sit and look at cool websites and dream what it would be like to work there. All I can do is imagine myself working there and smiling when I'm there and getting excited to wake up in the morning. I refuse to let those dreams and those passions go. I figure if I feel them and dream them long enough they're bound to happen, right?

My Big Move Part 2

Well, it's official. I no longer live with my parents. It's only been 2 days and I'm already a little home sick even though I've seen them both days and email with my mom all day every day. Not seeing them all the time will definitely be something I will need to get used to. I was very sad the first night, but I'll get the hang of it.

Our apartment looks like the box monster exploded. We are slowly, but surely getting things together. Out first priority was to put furniture together and in place so we had places to put the stuff from the boxes. 3 desks, a bed, and bathroom cabinet down, 1 dresser, TV stand, and bathroom cabinet to go. It's exciting to see everything come together and make the place into our place with the colors and the layout we want. I've obviously never moved before, but when I used to think about it, that was my favorite part. Being able to take this once empty blank canvas and turn it into something awesome and fun that was all mine. I feel like we're on our way to succeeding.

Once we get everything organized and less insane and like a maze, I can't wait for people to see it. It will be so nice to have people over.

Gone Missing

Cassie arrives home from work just like every other day of the week. She pulls into her driveway and parks in the garage. The first thing she does every night before going inside is grab the mail. She used to forget to grab the mail and she was late on a couple of bills and will never make that mistake again. She goes into her house and drops her stuff and begins to go through the mail. She sees a letter with no return address in a blank, white envelope. She drops the rest of the mail and opens this mysterious looking letter first. Inside is a hand written letter.

Cassie,
Your parents don’t always tell you the truth. The truth can be found here:

5691 South Rosedale Road

Sincerely Yours

Out falls a picture of Cassie as a new born with another new born baby and her parents, Paul and Susan. Cassie flips the picture over. The back reads: Cassie and Melanie, our beautiful daughters February 21, 1985. Cassie reads the letter again and stares at the picture again. She immediately picks up the phone and calls her parents and asks them about the letter. Where did it come from and who the hell was this other baby named Melanie? She decides it would be easier to just go over to their house and she brings the letter with her. They tell her the entire story behind the picture. Paul and Susan tell Cassie that she had a twin sister, but she died not too long after she was born and they never told her because she was too young to remember and they wanted to keep it that way. It was too painful to tell her when she got older and they weren’t sure how to bring it up. It was a traumatic experience for them and they were happy to have Cassie and never wanted to utter Melanie’s name again. Cassie asks what the address means and if they’ve ever seen it, but neither of them have any idea. Cassie is sad her parents never told her the truth, but she can understand why it would be tough for them to bring up so many years later. She leaves their house and returns home. She’s up all night re-reading the letter over and over. She decides to look up the address on Mapquest and Google Earth and sees that it’s about an hour away and decides she will go there first thing in the morning.

The next morning she follows the map to the address and it leads her to a vacant lot in the middle of nowhere. This can’t be right because Mapquest and Google Earth showed her otherwise. There’s supposed to be a house here. She looks around and the only thing she can find at the location is a mail box. She opens it and finds car keys. There’s no car to be found, but she decides to wander around and see if she can find something. She wanders to find a car hidden behind a bunch of trees. The doors to the car are unlocked. She gets in to see if the key works. She’s able to start the engine, but not too long after it starts, the engine dies. She notices that the car is out of gas. With no other options, she begins to look through the glove box and the trunk of the car. In the glove box, she finds the picture that was sent to her in the letter. On the back of the picture it says: Cassie and Melanie our beautiful daughters Feb 21, 1985. She takes the picture and stuffs it in her pocket. What else can she find in this abandoned car? She goes around to the trunk and opens it with the key. Inside is a bunch of junk. Cassie finds water bottles, a pair of shoes, and an old lunch box. Nothing of any use to her. Cassie keeps wandering down Rosedale Road and stumbles upon another mailbox. There had to have been houses here at some point. She opens this one and finds the same picture she received in the mail and found in the glove box of the abandoned car. She turns the picture over and it says the same thing as the other 2 pictures; Cassie and Melanie, our beautiful daughters February 21, 1985. Cassie stuffs the picture into the same pocket as the picture from the glove box. Cassie continues walking down the road and encounters another mail box. This one better not have another picture in it, or I’m out of here. This is getting ridiculous. If Melanie is dead, who’s placing all these pictures for me to find? She opens the third mail box and inside is another letter with no return address in a plain white envelope. Much like the one she found in her mail box. She opens the letter.

Cassie,

Thank you for coming this far. The truth is just around the corner.

Sincerely Yours

The truth is just around the corner? What corner? I’m in the middle of nowhere. Cassie keeps walking hoping something will pop out at her and she can find out the truth and go home and tell her parents this was all for nothing and Melanie can rest in peace. After a few more minutes of walking, Cassie sees the same car she spotted back near the first mail box with the keys. She runs to the car hoping something will come to fruition, but how could it have moved without any gas? Cassie approaches the car and the doors are unlocked. She retrieves the keys she found in the first mail box from her pocket and tries to start the car. Nothing. The car is completely dead. Cassie rummages through the trunk and the glove box and finds that this is in fact the same exact car. How did it get here without her even noticing? It was completely out of gas when she started it the first time and there’s not a soul around. If a tow truck moved it, she would have noticed. Cassie starts circling the car to see if there’s anything new for her to find. She notices tucked under the front windshield wiper is another plain envelope. Cassie opens it.

Cassie,

Look behind you.

Sincerely Yours

Cassie turns around as fast as she can, but no one is there. This has to be some sick joke. Cassie turns back around to face the car and someone is sitting in the driver seat of the car. Cassie practically jumps out of her skin. The driver’s face is covered. The driver leans over the passenger seat and opens the passenger door and tells Cassie to get in. Cassie looks around and sees nothing and decides to get in the car. The driver starts up the engine with no problem and begins driving. The car was out of gas. How are we moving?

There is complete silence. Cassie has so many questions, but doesn’t even know where to begin. Were you the one that sent the letter to my house? Where did you find the picture of me and my dead sister? Where are we going? All these questions were spinning around in Cassie’s head, but she was too scared and worried to even ask. The car stops about 2 miles down the road from where Cassie was picked up. The driver leans over Cassie and locks the passenger door so she can’t get out. Where are we? The driver takes off the face covering. Cassie can’t believe her eyes. Melanie? Sitting across from Cassie is a girl who looks identical to her. Cassie feels as if she’s looking in a mirror. Mom and dad said Melanie was dead. How can she be sitting directly across from me?

My Big Move

So here we are. Found an apartment with my girlfriend and mutual close friend and we’re moving in one week. I’m going to miss my parents and living in their house and just being able to see them everyday. I will still go over at least once a week for dinner and see movies with them on the weekends whenever they want to so I will still see them, which is nice and feels comfortable, but I will miss them nonetheless. They keep telling me I didn’t need to leave home just yet and I could have stayed longer, but I feel if I didn’t make the jump now, I never will. I don’t feel forced to leave at all and most 25 year olds don’t live at home anymore so it makes sense. Of course, that doesn’t stop me from being sad about the situation and packing just makes it all harder. To walk into my room and see boxes everywhere is tough. For me and my parents I’m sure. Packing is a touchy subject right now. I don’t even know where to start. I took the books out of my bookshelf and went through my closet and looked at clothes to give away and have filled 3 bags, but there’s still so much more to do. I think I need to move my clothes out before I can do anything. My mom told me to leave behind anything I didn't need and then we could go back through it later to see what more can be given away. I don't mind giving things away. I have never had a problem with it, it just makes me realize how much stuff I have accumulated and for me it's a lot of stuff that has meaning and not just junk. I don't want to give away every soccer tournament shirt I ever got or all my soccer sweatshirts from high school, but I don't want them to sit in a box for the rest of my life either. I really want to make a memory quilt out of all my soccer stuff, which I plan on doing some day. Just makes packing harder when you pretty much want to keep everything because it all means so much, but you only have so much room to work with.

The Aftermath

I could almost taste the sweetness of reunion in the air, a separate fragrance from the perfume of her breath; the emptiness when we were apart left its own bitter aftertaste, something I didn't consciously notice until it was removed.

Who Moved My Cheese?

I have been complaining about the job market lately because there's just nothing out there for anybody. No one I know can find a job, especially not the dream job. Right now we are all kind of stuck where we are until things get better. If things get better. Last week, my dad handed me a book that was about 80 pages long called Who Moved My Cheese? He said a client handed it to him and he read it in about 30 minutes. The book tells the story of change through mice and their cheese. I found the PDF of the book online and I highly recommend it. They even made a movie about it. I hope it inspires you.

The Mystery of the Broken Fence Part 2

Susan starts to dig as Paul watches with amazement. What does she think she’s doing? This is going to look horrible if someone catches us. We will need to cover these holes back up when we’re done. But Susan just keeps digging. And digging. She digs until she hits pipes and finds another area to sink her shovel into. Wouldn’t it be smart to find a patch of fresh soil and dig there? If the neighbors were buried in the backyard, the soil would be fresh. Suddenly, Paul sees a flash of light and grabs Susan to keep her from moving. What was that? Was it a car passing by or did someone just pull into the driveway? Paul and Susan both sneak around to the side of the house to where they can see the driveway. That’s the third car. The car that was missing from the garage. Did the neighbors come back? Where in the world have they been this entire time? Susan and Paul try to escape the backyard without being seen. They both watch from their house as the neighbor’s begin to unload their car. It’s as if nothing has happened. Susan and Paul go back to watching TV. Next time, we need to make sure they tell us when they’re leaving.

The Mystery of the Broken Fence

It started out like any other day. Paul and Susan were making breakfast before heading out for a walk in their new neighborhood. They had just moved to Charleston not too long ago. It was their first home and they were very excited. As Susan begins to serve breakfast to Paul, they both hear a loud crash. What was that? Paul leaves Susan to finish serving breakfast and looks out the peep hole of the front door to see what all the commotion is about. There’s no one there. Paul doesn’t see anyone moving so he goes back to his breakfast with Susan.

Soon, they embark on their walk of their friendly, new neighborhood. As Paul and Susan round the corner to return to their house they notice the neighbor’s fence. It’s been smashed. Maybe their gardener accidentally hit it with the lawn mower.

Time progresses and Susan and Paul notice that their neighbor’s fence has yet to be fixed. This is a brand new community. They should have fixed their fence a bit ago. Susan decides it’s time to knock on the neighbor’s door and find out what’s going on. No one answers. Maybe they’re at work or out for the day.

Later that night, Susan gets a weird feeling. Why would they just leave their fence like that? There has to be some explanation. Susan grabs her flashlight and Paul follows her to the neighbor’s house. This probably isn’t a good idea. We shouldn’t be shining our flashlights into their house. Nothing in the house looks odd. All the furniture is intact, but no lights are on and it doesn’t look as if anyone is home. That’s strange. It’s only 8:30pm. Where could they be? Their 2 cars are parked in the garage, but the house is very still. Susan remembers the family has 3 cars and the third car is no where to be found. Maybe they packed up and drove away?

Another month passes and no word from the neighbor’s. Their fence is still a wreck and their gardener has stopped tending the lawn. He must not be getting paid. Susan and Paul haven’t seen the neighbors in some time and decide there’s one last thing they can do.

The Sheriff pulls up around 4pm in the afternoon. Susan greets him and describes the past few weeks. She tells him the fence has been broken for some time and the neighbors haven’t been seen since. The Sheriff investigates the house. He sees the cars in the garage and a few pieces of furniture in the house. He notes that the mailbox is filled to the top. That’s not a good sign. What could have happened to these people? There have been no missing person’s reports filed. The Sheriff tells Susan the house will more than likely foreclose soon unless a method of payment has been set up. There’s nothing else to be done at this time. Susan and Paul wave as the Sheriff drives away. There has to be something else that can be done. He’s the Sheriff. He can’t just walk away from this and wait for the house to foreclose. These people didn’t just vanish into thin air, especially because their third car is missing. But Susan and Paul are forced to go about their business. If the Sheriff says there’s nothing to be done, than Susan and Paul are forced to wait.

Two weeks later, Susan and Paul are watching television in the living room when Susan sits up suddenly. It’s one thing to skip town and not tell anyone, but that doesn’t explain why the fence is broken. Why would the fence be broken? If it wasn’t for that, we never would have snooped around and noticed they were gone. This has to mean something. Susan grabs her shovel out of the garage and Paul follows her to the backyard.

To be continued…..

Drifting

I talk more now than before. Does she know who I am or even hear what I'm saying? Not usually. Does anyone else talk to her? Not really. She is still a person. She still has feelings and knows people are there. Does she realize they're there to see her? No, because they don't talk to her. They don't care about her. I never did until now. Even now, it just makes me sad and I talk out of pity and sadness. I talk because no one else does. I talk to pass the time. She likes to talk, but can't always listen. Even if she doesn't know me, she knows I'm there and that matters. Her state has improved. His state is no longer. She may know his state. She may not know his state. In the long run it was unfair. She wanted to go, but he didn't want her to. He went and what does she have? A few people who see her because they have to and not because they want to. It might be too hard for them to see her, which I understand, but make a small effort. She's still present physically. She wants to be with her family and not the family that can be seen or touched. She needs to be with her family. The new family she created was solid for a short period of time. Now is time for the old family to return as one. I hope it won't be as bad as we may think. I hope it's calm and gentle. I hope everyone is at peace with the ways things are. The way things will be.

The End

Death. What an ugly word. What an ugly thought. Some people bring it upon themselves and some people have no choice. It’s hard. It’s hard when you’re close enough to touch the person. It’s hard when you see the process. It’s hard. Memories bring smiles and laughter. Memories bring tears. Will it ever get easy? Will it ever be something the rest of us can live with? Will it ever be easy to see the one’s you love cry? Will it ever be easy to be the one crying?

Glass Box of Emotion

I just needed a place to vent and what better place than my blog. That's what it's here for right? So lately, I have been super blah. My job has got me really down because my boss is a total douche bag and everyone knows it and hates him except for the people that need to know to fire him. I wish they would know what he does and how he acts. He would be gone so fast if they knew. I'm not doing anything in this job that I was told I would be doing and it's not even something I want to be doing. I'm in the right place doing the wrong things. I sit in the production studio and yet, I don't do any production. Talk about dangling the goods in my face. I have been applying for new gigs, but as we all know there's nothing out there and the things that are out there are kind of blah. I'm at the age where I need to find something to stick with longer than a year or 2. I need to find a career and not just a place until the next place comes along. I do have to say that I'm lucky to be here though. This I know and have always known. It doesn't stop me from complaining about it, but trust that I know how lucky I am. My other company was pretty much going under and this gig popped into my lap. If that's not luck, what is? This job came at the perfect time. So it's not what I want to do, but it's an income that the majority of my fellow Californians lack. I make a small amount, but it's better than $0. So I guess I complain because I can....

I would like to think that once my job situation gets figured out, everything will be good again. I am so happy outside of work, but I spend more time at work than anywhere else. We all do. We see the people at work more than our own family. I hate the people and the work. It's time to move on, but where to? I guess only time will tell. I just have to keep applying and hope that my luck is still viable and will help me find something I love. They say the least you expect it, the more you're likely to get it. Magic cookie I would like a Monday through Friday gig that doesn't keep me working overtime or on weekends unless completely necessary that pays me pretty well and gives me decent benefits. I would be ok with that. I'm sure I speak for all of us with that wish. I can almost guarantee that if my boss wasn't my boss, I would be ok with working here. I get the great benefits and when I leave my office I never really need to check my email unless an event is going on. I never need to be at events or running anything during them, I just need to make sure it's smooth when it starts and then my work is done. That's kind of the dream job. Unfortunately, I'm bored and no one cares about what I'm trying to do here and I blame my boss for that. He tells people he doesn't care. No one will ever care with an attitude like that. Fingers crossed for change.

On top of the work thing, my grandpa has been in the hospital on and off of his death bed for a few weeks now. Basically, he took too many meds at once causing his stomach to bleed and now he has an incredibly contagious infection. I saw him for the first time yesterday and I had to wear a nurse's gown and gloves. I had to stand at a distance from him too. He's that contagious. I could also blame my intestinal issues on him. I got the bad genes with that for sure. I am having major issues with how this all went down as well. My grandpa did this to himself. He's the one that took too many meds at once. He wouldn't drink water or do what we told him to do and now he's incredibly sick and could die at any time if the infection isn't under control. The worst part; my grandma isn't completely there anymore and she just thinks he's been at the market this entire time. They both need assisted living, but my grandpa is so freaking stubborn that he won't go. He also keeps pulling his IV's out because he wants to go home. Well guess what, you can't. You will make your wife sick if you do. You will also kill yourself because there will be no one to force you to do anything the way the nurse's at the hospital do. He was complaining of a horrible headache and when the nurse brought him some Tylenol, he wouldn't take it. It makes me wonder if he understands the severity of what he's done to himself. Maybe, maybe not. It's just frustrating. I have no desire to visit him because I just don't care. I was never close with him. He calls my house at midnight wondering why no one is there visiting him. He's so stubborn and self centered.

I went on vacation recently and that was great. It was great to get away and not think about work. It was just great, but the second I was on that plane ride back, it all came flooding back. Sometimes, I wish the Mayan calendar was in fact a calendar and not a mathematical equation and the world would end so I wouldn't have to worry about the future, but then I realize how happy the rest of me is and that's just an excuse to be lazy. One day it will turn around. This I know. Nothing lasts forever. I do have my positive spurts here and there. I just wish they were more often.

The Dream Catcher

I used to have some really scary dreams when I was a kid. So scary that I would make my dad sleep in my bed and I would sleep with my mom in her bed. Finally, one day my mom got me a dream catcher to stop all the bad dreams. It worked really well. Of course we all have nightmares here and there. Some were even cool enough to write down and recant at any moment. I had a dream once where I was at a soccer tournament and people began disappearing and no one could figure out where the people were going. They would literally just vanish into thin air. Someone decided to start digging where the person had been standing when they vanished. They would dig until they found an open hole in the ground where they could see the person who had disappeared lying on their back covered up to their necks with a white cloth seemingly sleeping. The person would be rescued from the hole and they would have aged 5 years and they couldn’t remember a thing. It was a pretty sweet dream. I wrote it down and gave it to this guy who was a director and he said he could see it becoming a mini series or something. Whatever, I was young.

I haven’t had a dream like that in a long time. I would read stories and turn them into my own and write those down, but nothing was really coming from my dreams until the other night. I had a dream that I was an actor and we were on set filming a scene. I had become friends with this one crew guy and he and I realized we had the same taste in books. He handed me his favorite book about this guy who would turn into spiders and spy on people. Similar to the movie “It,” but the guy in the book wouldn’t eat the children. The crew guy told me his name was Michael and he showed me where he was staying while we were on location for the shoot and he let me check out his book collection. While I was in there, I found some very suspicious things. Eventually the dream goes on to show that the crew member was in fact the guy from the book and his name was actually Todd. It was pretty cool and I totally want to write it down. I usually write these things for fun, but it would be cool if one day they became something more. I tend to write them in script form so maybe I should try book form even though I have no clue how to do that. We shall see where it goes.

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Trip to Santa

The drive was 6 hours to Sacramento and 2 hours more to Chico. The drive was full of farms with all different kinds of fruits and vegetables where different animals grazed. Cows of every color, sheep, and even a lama. Hills with the most amazing color green you will ever see.

Trees that go through seasons. Bright red and yellow leaves everywhere. As we got closer to Chico, the towns were very southern. So southern and redneck it was kind of scary. I don't ever want to share the road with a tractor. One of those towns where you don't want to be stuck alone after dark. Stay inside and lock the doors.

Bidwell Park was next. The most amazing piece of nature ever.

River running between the trees. Hills all along one side. Dirt path leading right through. Runners and bicyclists passing by. Wood peckers pecking above our heads. Silence other than our foot steps along the gravel and nature.

Utter peace.

Best Story Ever

There was once a kitty who thought that he was a mighty dolphin who could scale the oceans surface and one day this kitty decided it was time to set out for his destiny. So David, the kitty, packed his fanny pack full of fish and milk jugs and headed out for the water. On his way David came across a blue chicken who said he was crazy for thinking that he was a dolphin and wanting to set out to sea, but David didn't want to hear what the blue chicken had to say so he kept going on his journey. He then ran into a purple rhino who told David he was crazy for setting out for open water and told him he wouldn't survive,but again, David didn't want to hear it so he kept going. David finally reached the coast and was sooo happy but soo tired so he decided to take a nap. After his nap he woke up and there was a seagull eating his fish and he had to chase the mean bird away but now he had no food. David went up to the water and started to slowly walk in. He thought it was mighty cold, but he was determined to finish his journey. When he got all the way in a dolphin found him and asked him what he was doing and when David told him the dolphin said that it was a brilliant idea and that David was exactly where he should be. So the dolphin took David under his fin and made him part of his family and David spent the rest of his life swimming freely with his dolphin family.

The End

By Faryl Saar

And They All Laughed

So in our attempt to be unique and submit a musical for the 48 hour film festival, we failed. Our musical was one of 3 musicals in our screening group last night. It made me kind of sad. There has only been one musical in the history of this festival that we have found and then the year we submit one, others have the same idea. Not only were there other musicals, but they placed our musical back to back with another. Why put them back to back? Seems dumb to me. Our film also seemed very short in comparison to others. It was quite odd. Maybe the other movies were just that bad because they seemed to go on FOREVER. Does the number elevendy exist? Quite a few of the films were bad and therefore, I think I am retiring from the festival. I have gone 3 years working my ass off to make great pieces with my friends and then placed side by side with some really horrible work. Plus the process is tiring and stressful. Maybe my mind will change next year, but at this very moment, I feel like I have gone out with a bang.

Our film was received really well. People laughed and cheered. I am very happy that our film came out the way it did. The actors were really happy with their work and we are going to enter it into other festivals. I am really excited to see how far it can go.

Once I receive the unedited version of the film, I will post it here for you all to see.

Through My Eye Lids

So I produced a movie this past weekend for the 48 hour film festival. This is my third year doing it and I am pretty sure it is going to be my last. It is an incredibly stressful and tiring process. It’s incredibly fun, don’t get me wrong, but staying up for 48 hours isn’t the best thing ever. Especially when you have to work the next day. This year, we pretty much stayed awake the entire time. The last few years we were able to figure out a way to sleep. So needless to say, I am completely and utterly exhausted and have had many late nights this week. Harry Potter midnight showing last night and then the film we made premieres tonight. It should be exciting to see how audiences react to it. The few people who have seen it have loved it.

The one sad thing is that the film we turned in was majorly edited due to time constraints and festival rules. My director is going to make a version that doesn’t have all the crazy edits and then we are going to enter it into other festivals. I think that would be awesome. I had a film I wanted to do that with before, but it never happened for whatever reason.

Oh and for those who don’t know, we made a musical in 48 hours. That is almost unheard of. To write, film, and edit a musical in 48 hours….yes we are insane. But hey, it came out really well. I knew going into this project that it would either be completely corny and horrible or utterly amazing. It was the latter. I am very happy with the work we did.

No Comment

It has been talked about millions of times and will continue to be talked about. I have read article upon article, blog upon blog, email upon email and I am no longer allowed to speak of it. I have to say "no comment" to everyone who texts, calls, or emails. The truth of the matter is that I am truly crushed. I am in utter shock. The second the news was confirmed, the only thought running through my mind was that it was all a lie. That it was some sort of ugly publicity stunt. I grew up listening to the music as well as the parodies by Weird Al. I went to a birthday party in elementary school where his impersonator was ready to wow the guests. I learned the infamous walk that only a few mastered and others only wish they could do. I wrote of his new adventures once a week as he was ready to begin one of the biggest concert tours my company had ever seen. My job was to follow the news of the tour and report. I sat yards from the rehearsals for one of the most technologically advanced shows he would ever do.

A huge part of me still does not believe the facts to be facts. Blood hounds are out to get the truth from me and my company and I wish we could just let it be and mourn. People say the music died in 1959 with a plane crash killing Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and The Big Bopper. It may have died for that generation, but I believe that the music died for my generation yesterday.

I do not know what is to come in the next few weeks as news of the autopsy floats to the surface. I wish his family could mourn in peace. He did not leave this earth with the best track record, but he was human and we all make mistakes. He and I share famous initials and I think I am kind of proud of that.

Cliché: RIP MJ.

When In Rain

I have never been a huge fan of the rain. Everything was always really difficult when it rained. Walking to and from class wasn’t fun because you would get wet. You would have to dodge all the puddles. You couldn’t sit on the grass and soak up the sun. Traffic would be horrible because for some reason people freak out when it begins to rain and drive like morons. Everything would get wet. You would throw your wet umbrella in the back of the car getting the entire back seat wet. The weather is always cold when it rains unless you live in Hawaii or something. Soccer games were always cancelled. If it started raining during a soccer game, the ball would be impossible to kick because it would be wet and slippery. Mud gets everywhere. Plus running in the rain is not an easy task. I just have always had so many reasons to dislike the rain.

Recently, I have come to a new appreciation for the rain. After it rains, the sky looks amazing. While it rains, you can curl up and watch a movie on the couch with your friends or someone you love. Turning on the fireplace is always a plus. The way rain smells is very interesting. It has a distinct smell that I can’t even begin to put into words. Driving to work in the rain doesn’t bother me for some reason. I like to sit in the traffic and hear the rain hitting my car.

I think my new appreciation comes from the fact that my life has changed. I don’t have to walk to and from class anymore. Soccer only occurs on Sundays now. I work indoors all day. I have to endure traffic anyway so why not endure it in the rain while I listen to my favorite band. I never understood why my brother and mom loved the rain so much. Now I know.

I am still one who loves the sun and can never get enough. But if it were to rain once in a while, I wouldn’t mind so much anymore.