I got a phone call from my mom today asking me if I heard the phone ring at 1am. Of course, I did not hear the phone ring. She told me that my grandpa called to tell my dad that my grandma fell and she fractured her hip and shoulder.
When I was younger, my grandparents never cared about my brother and I. They were always concerned with their friends and having card games and what not. They never cared about their grandchildren. I do not feel close to them at all. My dad had the option of teaching me Yiddish so I could speak to them on a more personal level, but he chose not to teach me and therefore I feel even further from them. They both speak English, but I feel that if I could speak their first language, we could connect more.
My grandma has been sick for some time. She fell and broke her hip about 2 years ago. She has not been able to recover since and she hid the fact that she had breast cancer. The only reason anyone found out was because she hurt her back and the doctor found an extremely swollen breast. Since, she has been on a down hill spiral. She can't walk, yet she sneaks out of bed and tries to and when she does stuff like this happens. She falls and fractures her hip once again as well as her shoulder.
Last Saturday was her birthday and I was not able to attend the gathering. I do not feel any sadness towards my absence. Since my grandparents have been near death, they are suddenly all about family. Why do you wait until you're almost dead to want to spend time with your family? That makes me angry and since they never felt like they could make time for me when I was a kid, I refuse to make time for them.
When they die, I'm sure I will be sad, but I can't say that I will be heart broken.
2 comments:
People, unfortunately, are imperfect. And the best you can do is forgive them for their errors and shortcomings, and try not to perpetuate them.
My grandfather did the same thing to his children, albeit to a different degree and for different reasons, and all it's earned him is a remorseful end to his life. My mom vowed never to follow in his footsteps, and she hasn't. Her last days will be filled with laughter and smiles, and I am taking that lesson and doing what I can to live the same way.
I'm sorry that your grandparents would not make time for you, but you can take solace in the fact that there are people in your life now who will.
Ahhh, families.
Post a Comment