The Aftermath

I could almost taste the sweetness of reunion in the air, a separate fragrance from the perfume of her breath; the emptiness when we were apart left its own bitter aftertaste, something I didn't consciously notice until it was removed.

Who Moved My Cheese?

I have been complaining about the job market lately because there's just nothing out there for anybody. No one I know can find a job, especially not the dream job. Right now we are all kind of stuck where we are until things get better. If things get better. Last week, my dad handed me a book that was about 80 pages long called Who Moved My Cheese? He said a client handed it to him and he read it in about 30 minutes. The book tells the story of change through mice and their cheese. I found the PDF of the book online and I highly recommend it. They even made a movie about it. I hope it inspires you.

The Mystery of the Broken Fence Part 2

Susan starts to dig as Paul watches with amazement. What does she think she’s doing? This is going to look horrible if someone catches us. We will need to cover these holes back up when we’re done. But Susan just keeps digging. And digging. She digs until she hits pipes and finds another area to sink her shovel into. Wouldn’t it be smart to find a patch of fresh soil and dig there? If the neighbors were buried in the backyard, the soil would be fresh. Suddenly, Paul sees a flash of light and grabs Susan to keep her from moving. What was that? Was it a car passing by or did someone just pull into the driveway? Paul and Susan both sneak around to the side of the house to where they can see the driveway. That’s the third car. The car that was missing from the garage. Did the neighbors come back? Where in the world have they been this entire time? Susan and Paul try to escape the backyard without being seen. They both watch from their house as the neighbor’s begin to unload their car. It’s as if nothing has happened. Susan and Paul go back to watching TV. Next time, we need to make sure they tell us when they’re leaving.

The Mystery of the Broken Fence

It started out like any other day. Paul and Susan were making breakfast before heading out for a walk in their new neighborhood. They had just moved to Charleston not too long ago. It was their first home and they were very excited. As Susan begins to serve breakfast to Paul, they both hear a loud crash. What was that? Paul leaves Susan to finish serving breakfast and looks out the peep hole of the front door to see what all the commotion is about. There’s no one there. Paul doesn’t see anyone moving so he goes back to his breakfast with Susan.

Soon, they embark on their walk of their friendly, new neighborhood. As Paul and Susan round the corner to return to their house they notice the neighbor’s fence. It’s been smashed. Maybe their gardener accidentally hit it with the lawn mower.

Time progresses and Susan and Paul notice that their neighbor’s fence has yet to be fixed. This is a brand new community. They should have fixed their fence a bit ago. Susan decides it’s time to knock on the neighbor’s door and find out what’s going on. No one answers. Maybe they’re at work or out for the day.

Later that night, Susan gets a weird feeling. Why would they just leave their fence like that? There has to be some explanation. Susan grabs her flashlight and Paul follows her to the neighbor’s house. This probably isn’t a good idea. We shouldn’t be shining our flashlights into their house. Nothing in the house looks odd. All the furniture is intact, but no lights are on and it doesn’t look as if anyone is home. That’s strange. It’s only 8:30pm. Where could they be? Their 2 cars are parked in the garage, but the house is very still. Susan remembers the family has 3 cars and the third car is no where to be found. Maybe they packed up and drove away?

Another month passes and no word from the neighbor’s. Their fence is still a wreck and their gardener has stopped tending the lawn. He must not be getting paid. Susan and Paul haven’t seen the neighbors in some time and decide there’s one last thing they can do.

The Sheriff pulls up around 4pm in the afternoon. Susan greets him and describes the past few weeks. She tells him the fence has been broken for some time and the neighbors haven’t been seen since. The Sheriff investigates the house. He sees the cars in the garage and a few pieces of furniture in the house. He notes that the mailbox is filled to the top. That’s not a good sign. What could have happened to these people? There have been no missing person’s reports filed. The Sheriff tells Susan the house will more than likely foreclose soon unless a method of payment has been set up. There’s nothing else to be done at this time. Susan and Paul wave as the Sheriff drives away. There has to be something else that can be done. He’s the Sheriff. He can’t just walk away from this and wait for the house to foreclose. These people didn’t just vanish into thin air, especially because their third car is missing. But Susan and Paul are forced to go about their business. If the Sheriff says there’s nothing to be done, than Susan and Paul are forced to wait.

Two weeks later, Susan and Paul are watching television in the living room when Susan sits up suddenly. It’s one thing to skip town and not tell anyone, but that doesn’t explain why the fence is broken. Why would the fence be broken? If it wasn’t for that, we never would have snooped around and noticed they were gone. This has to mean something. Susan grabs her shovel out of the garage and Paul follows her to the backyard.

To be continued…..

Drifting

I talk more now than before. Does she know who I am or even hear what I'm saying? Not usually. Does anyone else talk to her? Not really. She is still a person. She still has feelings and knows people are there. Does she realize they're there to see her? No, because they don't talk to her. They don't care about her. I never did until now. Even now, it just makes me sad and I talk out of pity and sadness. I talk because no one else does. I talk to pass the time. She likes to talk, but can't always listen. Even if she doesn't know me, she knows I'm there and that matters. Her state has improved. His state is no longer. She may know his state. She may not know his state. In the long run it was unfair. She wanted to go, but he didn't want her to. He went and what does she have? A few people who see her because they have to and not because they want to. It might be too hard for them to see her, which I understand, but make a small effort. She's still present physically. She wants to be with her family and not the family that can be seen or touched. She needs to be with her family. The new family she created was solid for a short period of time. Now is time for the old family to return as one. I hope it won't be as bad as we may think. I hope it's calm and gentle. I hope everyone is at peace with the ways things are. The way things will be.

The End

Death. What an ugly word. What an ugly thought. Some people bring it upon themselves and some people have no choice. It’s hard. It’s hard when you’re close enough to touch the person. It’s hard when you see the process. It’s hard. Memories bring smiles and laughter. Memories bring tears. Will it ever get easy? Will it ever be something the rest of us can live with? Will it ever be easy to see the one’s you love cry? Will it ever be easy to be the one crying?

Glass Box of Emotion

I just needed a place to vent and what better place than my blog. That's what it's here for right? So lately, I have been super blah. My job has got me really down because my boss is a total douche bag and everyone knows it and hates him except for the people that need to know to fire him. I wish they would know what he does and how he acts. He would be gone so fast if they knew. I'm not doing anything in this job that I was told I would be doing and it's not even something I want to be doing. I'm in the right place doing the wrong things. I sit in the production studio and yet, I don't do any production. Talk about dangling the goods in my face. I have been applying for new gigs, but as we all know there's nothing out there and the things that are out there are kind of blah. I'm at the age where I need to find something to stick with longer than a year or 2. I need to find a career and not just a place until the next place comes along. I do have to say that I'm lucky to be here though. This I know and have always known. It doesn't stop me from complaining about it, but trust that I know how lucky I am. My other company was pretty much going under and this gig popped into my lap. If that's not luck, what is? This job came at the perfect time. So it's not what I want to do, but it's an income that the majority of my fellow Californians lack. I make a small amount, but it's better than $0. So I guess I complain because I can....

I would like to think that once my job situation gets figured out, everything will be good again. I am so happy outside of work, but I spend more time at work than anywhere else. We all do. We see the people at work more than our own family. I hate the people and the work. It's time to move on, but where to? I guess only time will tell. I just have to keep applying and hope that my luck is still viable and will help me find something I love. They say the least you expect it, the more you're likely to get it. Magic cookie I would like a Monday through Friday gig that doesn't keep me working overtime or on weekends unless completely necessary that pays me pretty well and gives me decent benefits. I would be ok with that. I'm sure I speak for all of us with that wish. I can almost guarantee that if my boss wasn't my boss, I would be ok with working here. I get the great benefits and when I leave my office I never really need to check my email unless an event is going on. I never need to be at events or running anything during them, I just need to make sure it's smooth when it starts and then my work is done. That's kind of the dream job. Unfortunately, I'm bored and no one cares about what I'm trying to do here and I blame my boss for that. He tells people he doesn't care. No one will ever care with an attitude like that. Fingers crossed for change.

On top of the work thing, my grandpa has been in the hospital on and off of his death bed for a few weeks now. Basically, he took too many meds at once causing his stomach to bleed and now he has an incredibly contagious infection. I saw him for the first time yesterday and I had to wear a nurse's gown and gloves. I had to stand at a distance from him too. He's that contagious. I could also blame my intestinal issues on him. I got the bad genes with that for sure. I am having major issues with how this all went down as well. My grandpa did this to himself. He's the one that took too many meds at once. He wouldn't drink water or do what we told him to do and now he's incredibly sick and could die at any time if the infection isn't under control. The worst part; my grandma isn't completely there anymore and she just thinks he's been at the market this entire time. They both need assisted living, but my grandpa is so freaking stubborn that he won't go. He also keeps pulling his IV's out because he wants to go home. Well guess what, you can't. You will make your wife sick if you do. You will also kill yourself because there will be no one to force you to do anything the way the nurse's at the hospital do. He was complaining of a horrible headache and when the nurse brought him some Tylenol, he wouldn't take it. It makes me wonder if he understands the severity of what he's done to himself. Maybe, maybe not. It's just frustrating. I have no desire to visit him because I just don't care. I was never close with him. He calls my house at midnight wondering why no one is there visiting him. He's so stubborn and self centered.

I went on vacation recently and that was great. It was great to get away and not think about work. It was just great, but the second I was on that plane ride back, it all came flooding back. Sometimes, I wish the Mayan calendar was in fact a calendar and not a mathematical equation and the world would end so I wouldn't have to worry about the future, but then I realize how happy the rest of me is and that's just an excuse to be lazy. One day it will turn around. This I know. Nothing lasts forever. I do have my positive spurts here and there. I just wish they were more often.